how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The air was thick with penises
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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