Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
