I'm passing your future prison.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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