she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
