Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
