I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
