cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
