its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Brb crying the tears of my youth
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
