she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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