The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
