Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
