So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
it was like eating out sand paper
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
