i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
