She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
It's just like the Real World with babies
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
