I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
