if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
