So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
as a side note pls kill me
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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