As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
