I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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