can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
