I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
