Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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