What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i just made my gag reflex go away.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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