she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
