Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
