I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
