the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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