Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
