2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
