I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
