We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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