Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
