Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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