i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize