Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Randomize