I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Randomize
