u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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