Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
