pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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