gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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