i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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