so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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