if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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