the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
