I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
