do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
