Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
