PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
