I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
