Jerry, you need to find god
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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