I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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