I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
