It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
