Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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