I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
We are all done wearing pants today
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
