We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
