Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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