let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
