I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
We need to rekindle our bromance
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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