So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
