I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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