Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize