This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
