Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
